little jess

queer feels & junk

mutual friends “choosing sides” when a couple calls it quits speaks volumes about those friends, and much less about the two individuals actually involved in the former partnership. it reeks of a selfish, punishment mindset: “you ended your relationship and it inconveniences me! now i shun one of you! feel shame!” …queers, we all need support. two folks parting ways —in any kind of relationship— is not about you. your role is support, friends, or it turns out you’re not very good friends at all.

acts of desperation

during the first week following diagnosis, i drank a lot of kombucha. somewhere in my least logical, most hopeful mind, i could reverse everything.

"metastatic disease cannot be ruled out" the shortest horror story ever written

you’re called max
and you used to call me a slut in bed
once i woke up with my hand down your pants
another time you yelled when i refused to fuck you

fuck you

now you read poetry with famous queers

holes in your body
like nonconsensual piercings
and
planning funerals like birthday parties
nausea like your first hangover
disease feels like a teenager

lovers/doctors

be as aggressive
as my body can handle
just hold me after

i was scared to die
last time, but this time it’s not
even an option